You wake up after a horrible night. A little disoriented, you look around and realize that you're not where you were when you went to sleep.

"Where am I now? This keeps HAPPENING!!! I know exactly what's going on here..." You have absolutely no idea what's going on. You get out of bed in shock.

"Hmm, maybe I don't know what's going on..."

What do you do?

• ⭕You begin to panic. → Go to Page 11.
• ⭕You go back to sleep. → Go to Page 3.
• ⭕You try to figure out what's going on. → Go to Page 8.

You throw it against the wall. "What the HELL!?" In utter confusion, you decide that the solution to your problem is to fight this sphere of death...

After your epic battle (that the author had no time to write out because they're an idiot), you are surprised to see that you won! Hurray for you! You look around and see a door, a suspicious door.

Now what?

• ⭕Enter the room. → Go to Page 5.

Once the thought enters your mind, a golf ball crashes through the window and assaults your face. Literally.

It grows arms and strangles you.

Now what?

• ⭕Just let it. → Go to Page 20.
• ⭕Fight back. → Go to Page 2.

You continue to walk forward without showing too much remorse. You are a bit irritated, due to the fact that you've had to deal with these random things, and at that moment two jet-pack-equipped bank robbers fly out of a pie and take all of your money.

You curse the heavens, as you head to the door.

Your many options...

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

You walk in and look around. It's all so strange to you... well, then again, so has everything else.

"Hehehe! Shhow! You mushht be da new one hee? Heeheehee!!!" says some old guy with small whistles in his words.

"What the hell's goin' on around here!? Where am I!? Where you you!?"

"Heeheeheehee!!!..." his voice fades.

Now what?

• ⭕Continue on... → Go to Page 6.

You decide to just sit there, instead of trying to get out. But it's okay, after all, your life wasn't all that great anyway. As the walls come closer, you make your peace.

Unfortunately, you realize way too late that being flattened isn't the best way to go. Your body begins to compress, and you finally hear your skull break.

"AAAAHHHH! This was a bad idea!!! AAAHHHH!!" Blood flows from the tips of your fingers like a fountain of dreams...

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

This is the Stoopiduh ending, with answers left unanswered. Hurray!

The End

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

Hey, a puppy!

What do you do with it?

• ⭕Pet the puppy! → Go to Page 13.
• ⭕Steer clear of the puppy. → Go to Page 19.

As you jump out the window, you find yourself face-to-face with the old man. "What the hell? Weren't you just in there over the intercom?"

"Yeshhh, I washh. What you don't know about me ishh that I'm old!!"

"I know... What does that have to do with anything?"

"Old people get to break lawshh without getting punishhed!! Heeheehee!!! Giving me the ability to break all of the shhcientific lawshh ashh well!!!"

"What does that have to do with me getting kidnapped!?"

"...You remind me of my wife... Tallula. Alshho, it'shh fun to do. Heeheehee."

Out of frustration, you decide to end the old man's life... But he's too old, so he kills you first... somehow. He's quite the old man... well, was. He died of low blood pressure eight hours before you did. Amazing.

Well, it's better than the other three...

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

You realize that in order to keep the author's ideas flowing you must do dumb crap. So you decide to snap into a Slim Jim.

"Can I help you enjoy Shhnickers? Heehee."

"Damn you, old man...! This is a Slim Jim!!"

"Heehee, can you hear me now? Goooood."

"What's good!? Where th..." Before you can finish your sentence, the old man releases toxins into the air causing you to hyperventilate. Soon your body starts to reject the air, and you die.

Seconds after you die, you explode... then turn into a tree... then get peed on by a behemoth... then get strangled by a golf ball. In that order.

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

You run around the room, screaming your lungs off for about two minutes. Your blood pressure rises. The walls begin to close in on you. You're confused, after all, you're not claustrophobic or anything.

It turns out that whoever put you in that room is watching you. The room begins to shrink, and you find yourself with only two options...

What's gonna happen?

• ⭕Sit down and await your demise. → Go to Page 6.
• ⭕Try to escape. → Go to Page 12.

At first glance, it seems hopeless, but you notice that the walls, moving a grand total of 2 inches per minute, don't seem so threatening anymore. You calm down and nervously laugh it off. You found a door.

What do you do?

• ⭕Enter the room. → Go to Page 5.

You go down to pet the puppy, but before you can say "Holy crap! That freakin' pup is mutating into a freakin' monster pup! I'm now going to stop trying to pet this once-cute puppy, due to the fact that it is now a behemoth of a creature," it becomes a behemoth.

It bites a chunk of your stomach off. You think to yourself, "Whatever... there are people without tummies in this world, right?" By this time, you've already lost most of your blood, causing your delirium. The beast grinds its teeth into your leg. You wonder what's for breakfast. You start to sing some show tunes. You realize your life-long dream of being eaten alive.

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

You leave through the window, and nothing bad ever happens to you again!! Did you expect it!!?!? No!! See, random! Haa! Suddenly... The author died of stupidity.

YOU WIN!

• 🥳Play Again → Go to Page 1.

As you make your escape, a monster charges at you. "What!?" He looks hungry... But then again, so do you.

Seeing as you haven't had any breakfast, and you're about to die, you just open your mouth wide and swallow the beast whole! "Scrumptious," you say as you walk to your freedom... Sort of.

The beast was made of carrots, and you're allergic, so you die. I'm sorry.

You WIN... a little.

• 🥳Play Again→ Go to Page 1.

(Why was this even an option!? Damn author, can't write anything good...)

You hit your face on the wall...

Ummm, that wasn't too smart on your part.

• ⭕Why not pick a door this time? → Go to Page 18.

"See, you bastard, I told ya to pick me. I'm the door to... Somethingness!" it announces.

"I did!" you say, trying to defend yourself.

"Shuddup!"

"What do I do now!?"

"Shuddup!"

You heard yourself!

• ⭕Snap into a Slim Jim. → Go to Page 10.
• ⭕Hey! There's a window! → Go to Page 21.

As you progress, you are confronted by two doors. The one on the left says, "Hey you...! Yeah, you, why don't you go through me, huh?"

The one on the right says, "Hey you...! Yeah, you, why don't you go through me, huh?"

So...

• ⭕Enter the room on the left. → Go to Page 17.
• ⭕Enter the one on the right. → Go to Page 22.
• ⭕Enter the one in the middle. → Go to Page 16.

You love dogs, but this one seems to have an attitude, so you kick it out the window. You're a little curious to see what happened...

Hey, buddy, what's goin' on?

• ⭕Run to the window. → Go to Page 23.
• ⭕Screw that thing! It's not that important! → Go to Page 4.

Seriously!? You should've fought back... Can you imagine what they're going to say about you at the funeral? Gosh!!... I hate you!..... I'm sorry, no, I don't. I love you.

Moments after you are dead, an old man walks into your room and whispers in your cold dead ear, "Can I be your financial adviser?" He drags your dead body into his lair... and eats you.

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.

You find it stupid to continue any longer in this random place and notice a window leading to the outside world. "Haha! Goodbye, Old Man!"

"Ohh, crrap. I kneewww that I washh forgetting shomething!"

Sweet freedom! You're about to escape when...

See, I'm not mean! You have options! You punk.

• ⭕Random Ending → Go to Page 14.
• ⭕Stupid Ending → Go to Page 15.
• ⭕Stoopiduh Ending → Go to Page 7.
• ⭕Good Ending → Go to Page 9.

"Haha, there's nothing in this room!!! For I am the door to nothingness!!!!" it announces. "...Huh... Hey! Where are y..."

"Damn door... Wasting my time," you mutter.

Riiight.....

• ⭕Go back. → Go to Page 18.

You run toward the window and look down. It seems to have turned into some sort of demon... You think to yourself, "Well... I think I'm gonna die." Much to your avail, you were correct. And you also realize that "much to your avail", although used correctly, is not really to your avail. But more harmful than you or the author might have thought.

Either way, you die a sad, cold man... With a demon devouring your torso.

• 💀Try Again → Go to Page 1.