The Holder of Art

In any city, in any country, go to any mental institution or halfway house you can get yourself to. When you reach the front desk, ask to visit someone who calls himself "The Holder of Art". The guy behind the desk will seem to be staring at a pencil on his desk and sigh. If he doesn't look at his pencil, run far away, farther than you've ever run in your damn life.

If he does look at his pencil, he'll motion for you to follow him with his middle finger. Follow him up a staircase behind you that wasn't there before, but it feels like it was there before. Follow exactly two steps behind him or you will fall into a fiery pit of death but will be alive forever to die.

When he stops, he will turn left and punch a hole in the wall. Put your hands against your ears and look surprised, or he will kick you down the stairs and a dog will eat you.

Go into the hole in the wall alone, and follow the trail of purple candy. If at any time, a different color candy appears on the trail, close your eyes and pray that whatever beast comes for you will grant you a quick death of life.

When you start to smell something that reeks of shit in a diaper, turn right and stick your thumb in your nose and say these exact words, "What causes them to bandwagon?" A spirit will appear before you with a book of Sonic fan art and begin flipping through the seemingly endless book and cackling at the same time. You must never look away from the recolors or you will become a Sonic fan-made character for all of eternity and your soul will be tormented.

When the ghost stops, close your eyes tightly and say these exact words, "I seek originality." If all noise suddenly stops, open your eyes and you should be in a pink room. On a table, there should be a little girl's sketchbook full of things impossible to describe.

This is Object 590 of 2538, and those unknown drawings long to be scanned into your computer.