The Holder of Mockery

Thinking of your most humiliating memory, walk into any mental hospital in any city that is north of Albany, New York. In the waiting room, there should be a pimply teenage boy in thick glasses that distort his eyes. If he is not there, you could well be relieved, as your death will be quick and painless. If the boy is there, however, don't pay too much attention to his eyes; if you do, you will realize they are simply an illusion, and he will not be pleased.

He will see you at once. You have to act confident, no matter how awkward you may begin to feel under his gaze. If you pass his test, he will grin, showing his braces and buck teeth, and hurry over to you. You have to trip him before he catches your arm. As he hits the floor, you must ask him if he is used to mockery. His answer will vary, but he will say a number. That is the room number you must find. Grab a pen out of the boy's pocket and go find that room.

Once you reach the room, you will find it unlocked and seemingly empty. Walk to the wall opposite you and write the phrase "uR PHaLureE", capitalized in exactly that manner, and turn around. A figure will be standing behind you. She will hold out one hand to take the pen.

Do not respond. Do nothing at all. The shade will grow annoyed. If she points at you with her left hand, you will spend an eternity in agony, and you would be better off driving the pen through your own heart. If she points with her right hand, you will lose any will to live. You will survive for a thousand years without aging, but with finding no emotion or meaning in life.

Your only chance is if the shade grabs you by the shoulders. Once again, do not react. Let her shake you and push you around, no matter what feelings may grab you or what taunts you may hear. It is a test.

After a while, the shade will release you, the door will open, and she will give you the chance to leave. Do nothing or the rest of your life will be filled with endless anger and rage at a wrong done to you that will always be just beyond your memories.

If you remain with her, the door will shut and the shade will turn to you and take off the hood she is wearing. No matter what her face looks like, you must not react. She will smirk and ask you if you think you will succeed.

"I will, regardless of pain," must be your reply. If she senses that you are lying, she will rip you to shreds, but you will retain your mind enough to feel the agony. If you are strong enough, she will nod and step back. At this point, give her the pen and say that you can't return it yourself. She will stick the pen through her long hair, turn around, and strike you in the face. Hopefully, this will knock you out.

You will awaken to find yourself sitting on the steps of your old high school, clutching a diary. Soon, you will find that all your worst and most humiliating secrets are common knowledge. However, you are lucky, since that diary is Object 533 of 2538. It holds the secrets of your worst human enemy, your dearest friend, and the most powerful person in the world. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.