The Holder of Absolution

Any time after midnight, visit any abandoned church in any country. Do not try this in a church occupied by a servant of god. Once there, kneel at the altar and repeat these words: "Show me the Holder of Absolution."

The tabernacle will flare a bright red, but do not look at it. Instead, keep your head bowed and stay on your knees. After a short while, a great booming voice will reverberate through the building as it calls out your each and every sin, trespass, misdeed, crime, and transgression. For some, this may take a while. Once the voice is done, it will say, "Stand, but know that the way of the liar is blind." At this point, you must pick up the chalice on the altar and walk to the fountain. As you walk, be careful not to open your eyes. If you do, you will be forever unable to distinguish fact from fiction. Darkness you will perceive as light, day as night. You will go mad from trying to distinguish lie from truth, and, convinced your life is a lie, you will end it yourself, alone and afraid.

Dip the chalice into the waters of the fountain and drink from it, making sure to drink every single drop. You will feel refreshed and free of guilt.

Eyes still tightly shut, take the chalice and walk slowly toward the door and leave. Upon returning to your life you will find your altercations forgiven, your enemies befriended, and your sins forgotten. You will also find that any persons wishing to incriminate you will find it exceedingly difficult to do so.

If you lose the chalice, you will be unable to resist confessing your every mistake and error.

The chalice is Object 332 of 2538. If they come together, you will be held responsible.