Object 285

The Holder of Blasphemy

It is highly recommended that you complete any Object quest involving going to churches, temples, or any holy ground. Because if you complete this quest before those, then you will be unwelcome at any holy place ever again. And if a Holder happens to be at that place, then all you will do is anger their guardians.

In any town or city, in any country, drive up to any church you can find on a sunny, cloudless day other than Sunday. You do not need to have a car, but it is recommended to help speed your escape. Look for a young man with an umbrella who is sitting cross-legged just outside the church, blowing bubbles from a small bottle.

Walk up to this young man and sit down next to him. Wait until he is just about to blow bubbles, and then say, "I want to see the Holder of Blasphemy." If you're at the right place, he should turn towards you, bubble wand still in hand and positioned in front of his face.

If he blows bubbles at you, run to your car as fast as possible and get out of that state as fast as you can. Do not go back for a year, as they know your name and face now, having seen them through the bubbles.

If he stares at you for a moment and puts the bubble wand away, then he thinks you are worthy. He'll unlock the church for you and let you inside, guiding you to the pulpit and push it aside, revealing a trap door that he will open for you. Do not open it yet. He will go back outside at this point, leaving you by yourself. Wait until the door closes and locks, and then quickly climb down the ladder inside the trap door, making sure to close the door behind you. The creatures beyond the trap door despise the daylight.

You will climb for what seems like hours in total darkness. As you climb, the steps will be increasingly sticky, and feel a wet, viscous substance start to drip on you. Ignore this sensation, at is merely the remains of those who never made it to the bottom. If you hear the sound of a woman laughing madly, shout in the loudest voice you can manage, "I am not here for your pleasure! You are here for mine!"

If the laughter becomes more intense, do whatever you have to do to kill yourself before the source of the voice comes for you. Whatever you do it will be less agonizing than what the creature comes up with for your eternity.

If the laughter stops, continue on.

Eventually, you will reach the bottom of the ladder. A single table lamp will turn on, revealing a small desk with a bible and some matches on it, and a small pyre near a door, which remains half-hidden by shadow. Use the matches to light the pyre and burn the bible, illuminating the rest of the door. A key will appear out of the ashes of the bible. Reach in and take it out of the pyre with the tongs provided for you. You can wait until it cools before you use it to unlock the door if you like.

You shall find yourself in a lavish temple, one filled with religious symbols, altars, and statues of gods and goddesses. Tables shall be filled with rich, delicious food and drink, everything you could ever want and tasty treats you have never sampled before. Every man, woman, or child, real or fictional, that you have ever had an erotic fantasy about, shall be there, tempting you to join them, using everything they can to convince you to leave the path. You will find your desires and your hunger starting to overwhelm you, and you will want to give in. DO NOT DO SO. This is a trick. Stay on the golden path in the center of the room and do not let yourself be drawn out of it, for if you do the tempting creatures shall reveal their true natures, your body and soul violated for their pleasure in increasingly agonizing ways for all eternity. Swat them aside if you need to, even physically assault them. Just don't let them draw you off the path.

Walk along the path until you come to a golden staircase. Walk up it until you find a man in elegant, priestly robes and an ornate throne. The robed man is the Holder. If he is sitting on the throne, then close your eyes and pray the end he gives you is swift.

If he is standing by the throne, he will offer you a chance to sit down. Do so, as this shall be one of the only times you have rest and pleasure on your quest. It will be the most comfortable chair you have ever sat on. As soon as you sit down, ask him only this: "What has been done in His name?" If you were not quick enough, the Holder will take out a sacrificial knife and tear you apart in slow, agonizing fashion, your body and soul used in a blasphemous ritual dedicated to Him over and over again for all time.

If you asked your question quick enough, then the Holder starts speaking in a voice like aged parchment and will explain to you, in graphic detail, every horrid act that has ever been committed in the name of a god or demon. Every rape, every genocide, every act of cruelty that man has ever committed for religious reasons shall be explained. And then the Holder will explain the truth behind each act of blasphemy, and why the gods of the old pantheons no longer appear. Many go mad at this truth, the revelation of what man has done to its own gods too much for many to bear. Some try to kill themselves, or in their madness throw themselves off of the path to the creatures below. Maintain your sanity through all of this, do not show revulsion or fear in any way. If you do, the Holder will seem impressed, and ask you a question, "Don't you fear Heaven's judgment?"

The only correct answer is as follows: "I would not be on this quest if I did."

If the Holder believes you, the golden path will expand to cover the entire floor of the room. You will again feel compelled to fulfill your lusts on the creatures that tempted you earlier. Feel free to do so, as they will be safe to interact with now. The food and drink shall be safe to enjoy as well, so feel free to imbibe as much as you like. Occasionally, the Holder will get your attention and bring you before one of the statues or religious symbols. You absolutely must do something to desecrate the statue in some way at this point, even something as simple as destroying it, otherwise, the golden floor will vanish and nothing shall save you from the horrors that await you.

Once all the statues and symbols have been desecrated, the Holder will direct you to leave this place out the door you came in. Do not complain, simply stop whatever you are doing and exit. Before you leave, he will ask if you would like to stay and continue to experience this place. Say no. For if you say yes, then you shall be tortured, body and soul, until you become exactly like one of the tempters that you were debauching yourself with earlier.

Once you pass through the door, you shall be blinded by a bright light. Close your eyes and keep walking forward. You can open your eyes when you feel yourself bump into someone. It's the young man you met at the start of this quest, who had just finished locking the door to the church. If you look at him now, you will realize that he looks like a younger version of the Holder. He will seem surprised to see you again, but compliment you on your success and leave, whistling. Reach into your pocket, and you shall find the bottle of bubbles he had been blowing earlier. The bottle will never run out of bubble solution.

The bottle and wand within are Object 285 of 2538. Heaven has turned its eyes from you.