The Holder of Is

I haven't much longer to live. The man who killed me speaks only in truths, twisted and misleading though they are. He transcribed the following. Be very careful. This information is useful, but I believe only with those who have seen the Holder of Skepticism and lived. I trust this will end up in the right hands, for any way it ends is a good end for me. I am very sorry.

Signed, Douglas Buccnus

The Holder of Is

*****Asylum

Psychiatric Rehabilitation Program

Doctor in charge of session is Isis S****

Patient #1918 aka Johnny Zvee aka Jane Doe aka "Shout"

The following is transcribed from a recording. Asterisks indicate unintelligible words. Names may have been changed.

Dr. IS: This is Dr. Isis S**** session twelve with patient number 1918, aka Johnny Zvee, aka Jane -

Patient #1918: I don't like this.

Dr. IS: - for rehabilitation. What don't you like?

Silence for several seconds.

Dr. IS: How has your week been?

Patient: Why am I here?

Dr. IS: You're here because you need treatment. You need help.

Patient: I don't need help; I just need to get out of here.

Dr. IS: You signed yourself into our care. You did need help. You do need help.

Patient: I didn't sign it, I didn't sign it.

Dr. IS: But you did. I have your signature on file. Don't you remember? ... You came in, and the first thing you said was, "If you have a good day, please don't hesitate to ask."

Patient: Not the first thing. I heard those other words come out of my mouth.

Dr. IS: Well, none of the eyewitnesses heard you say anything else. Why is it so important that you said those words?

Patient: You're a very controlling person, you know that?

Dr. IS: I - ... I don't know what you mean by that, but we are not talking about me, we are talking about you.

Patient: Same thing.

Dr. IS: What do you mean by that?

Several seconds of silence.

Patient: My week's been good. I had pizza for lunch, and then I took a walk in the park, and then I came here for god knows how long and then I had my session with you... which is right now.

Dr. IS: When did you go to the park? You've been here for 4 months.

A chuckle is heard.

Patient: So it would seem.

Dr. IS: ***** I need to know if you've been out of your cell.

The next 20 minutes are unintelligible.

Patient: I don't remember anymore. I don't want to remember anymore.

Dr. IS: Don't remember what? What don't you want to remember?

Patient: I am so scared. Scared to go to sleep. And scared to stay awake. I see them whenever I go - I wasn't the one supposed to be held. You hold, hold, hold me tightly Dr. Isis. I loved your kind dearly. Oh god kill me. Is this punishment?

A succession of loud pounding noises are heard.

Dr. IS: Okay, I'm getting the guards.

A chair scrapes across the floor. A loud clapping noise is heard.

Dr. IS: Don't grab me! Guard!

A loud scuffling is heard. A door is opened roughly. A struggle is heard.

Patient: I am your master! I am not a plaything for you! I am your master! I am yo-

The recording shuts off for several minutes.

Dr. IS: I am recommending isolation. Patient #1672 is becoming increasingly volatile and -

New recording starts.

Unknown female voice: She told me "she is out", and I said that you should be too.

New recording starts.

Dr. IS: What have you been doing this week?

Patient #1918: Playing games.

Dr. IS: What kind of games?

Patient: Hide.

Dr. IS: Who are you hiding from?

Patient: What you own... The Objects control you.

End of recording.

Dear Douglas,

Not a lot is known about the individuals in the recording. Patient #1918 was/is intersexed, though was allegedly born with the name Johnny Zvee. S/he allegedly used the name "Jane Doe" for a series of autographed animal slaughters that were committed during a fugue state that were eventually connected to her/him. Though when signed into the asylum's care, s/he used the name "Shout". No official document of why Patient #1918 was put in a maximum-security mental hospital exists.

Dr. Isis S. has been working at the asylum for an undetermined amount of time. Despite my attempts to get answers, she refuses to acquiesce, and the grad students I send to ask her usually don't come back from this errand. I'm sure you can relate to the frustration this causes.

I am sending this to you because I have been told that you could do more with this information than I could. Regardless of your motivation for collecting the Objects, I feel that I must pass this on to you, Douglas. If I can be of any assistance, please let me know. The Object you led me to in exchange for this paltry piece of paper is invaluable, and I would be happy to lend my hand.

Sincerely yours,

Professor ***** *************