Filthy Angel

The following audio clip was found copied six times onto a CD, labeled "Asshole, I'm Waiting.", written in blood and in a font too precise for human hand.

So, there I was, minding my own fucking business, chillin' and, of course, slightly drunk. Then, outta nowhere, I feel this pressure on my back, right, and this fucker says something along the lines of "Howdy, shithead. The gun's called Ballista an' most o' the time the Boss calls me Filth. Don't move, by the by."

What the fuck did I do to this dipshit, kill his dog or something? Whatever, I was about half a second away from turning around and giving him a one-way ticket to god, when he decides he can't keep his trap shut. "I wouldn't try that if I were you. The Boss made this gun for ruining shits like you. It prolly won't be doin' much killin' but it will burrow through you real good. Drive ya crazy. Trust me, 'taint pleasant. And I'd rather not drive ya mad, boy; 'tis me opinion you're doin' the world a bloody service. But the Ol' Boss ain't to fond o' it." Then it sounded like he took a swig of something, and I smelled some pretty strong booze coming off him.

Whatever, I didn't really believe this old bum's nonsense, but I was bored outta my skull, so I decided to play along. I put on my best "yes sir, right away sir" but the lunatic rolls his eyes and fires his gun at a nearby trashcan and suddenly the thing is riddled to all hell with bullet holes.

"See, shithead? Come on, neither of us needs the other dead so let's just hit the local pub, have a talk."

As I was getting more smashed than I care to admit, this fucker tells me that Asshole sent him. You have no idea how close I came to killing him then and there, but what good would killing him do? Might as well play along and hope he leads me to Asshole again, right? This fucker tells me that Asshole wants me to stop killing Seekers, and to give up my goddamned good sword.

I told him to do something rude to himself with a metal rod. In hindsight, not the wisest of decisions, but, hey, I was sauced, alright? Get off my ass. This nasty-looking fucker don't even miss a beat, just goes right on, tellin' me that ol' Asshole is gonna send two more of his cronies after me, right? One of 'em, he says, is gonna be able to shatter my soul with a word. And the other one, well, when I told him I didn't think I could die, Filth just laughed.

"I wouldn't be worried about dying, shithead. If you meet Whitehall, dying will be the last thing on your mind. Can't die if you were never born, can you?"

I doubt ol' grandfather clock would let something like that happen to me, but anymore, since that Holder got me, I'm not too sure. Doesn't really matter, as far as I'm concerned. I turned back to this nasty-ass fucker and asked him why the hell he was working for Asshole. He told me that, if he had things his way, he'd be there to kick Asshole's corpse when I'm done with him.