A Dangerous Mistake to Make

The following document was found printed seventy-seven times in a public library's printer, entirely in blood. The font doesn't match any of the fonts in the library's computers.

Started out like any other day. Cruisin', lookin' for whatever I happened to find, and even popped in and out of a nuthouse. Nothing. Whatevs, it's no biggie. So, I nip off to some bar and decide to head my happy ass inside and get sauced outta my skull. Hey, a bottomless wallet never hurts when you're wanting to get roaring drunk.

Just as I was shoving some idiot outta my way at the front of the line, the moron in front of me asks to see the Holder of Quintessence. Oh, what the hell, I finally think I get a day off and this asshole ruins it. What-the-fuck-ever. Bouncer does his part fine, staring this moron down like the moron he is. I need to remember to go compliment that bouncer later. Anyways, old ass-for-brains goes back to his house and, of course, doesn't even see me zip in before him. It's whatevs, I'm used to it by this point. The place looked fucked up as fuck though. I'm pretty sure the walls were made of blood vessels or some such shit. And this damn cat just sat on the table, which, by the way, had seventeen legs, none of which touched the ground, and stared at me, without blinking, with eyes about five times bigger than they should be. I was pissed off already, but that just pushed me over the line and into rage.

Anyways, when grandpa McMolasses-ass finally slows his in the house (I really need to learn to slow down my perception when I'm doin' this shit, but I'm afraid I'd lose my edge) he runs off to his bedroom, screams a few times, and I hear him sit down. Next was the fun part. I went in there and just stood behind him. He was sitting at what I think was a computer desk once, but now it was a nice big ice cube. For the entire hour, I just stood behind him, made sure he knew I was there, but he didn't dare look. Pretty much the most fun I've ever had.

That's when the knock came. So, I sauntered my happy ass off to the front door (That fucking cat was still there and was telling whoever was interested how much it hurt. I'm pretty sure it was shitting out its intestines.) and as soon as it opened, I started giggling and my hand was gripping my goddamned good sword so tight my fingers were totally white. Giddy and mad. Not a good sign.

To this day, I can't describe what that thing looked like. I can remember it more clearly than anything, 'cept ol' grandfather clock and mebbe Asshole. It came in, ignoring me, and walked straight into the other room. A scream and a gurgle later, and the Holder and I were alone. He apparently didn't like people who deviated from the script.

Then he came back out, dragging the unlucky would-be Seeker with him. That's when I realized that this fucking Holder stole my goddamned kill! No taste of heaven for me! That asshole! I was on him as soon as I realized it, about to cut him so good.

He didn't so much dodge, as he was simply nowhere near where I was swinging. It's like he knew what I was gonna do before I did, and reacted faster than I did. Bullshit. That went on for a little bit, before his ass-bitch started talking. I've never had words physically hurt, but these did. Fearlessness doesn't help when a fucker can shred your brain from the inside with nothing more than a few words. (If I can even call what it was saying "words").

I remember falling down after a good thirty minutes or so, then this fucker just ripped my skull right in two, and before it could even start healing, I'm decently sure it took out my brain. Bitch move.

I woke up at 2:00, lying under this douchbag's bed. Things didn't seem right... And then I knew. That fucking Holder did me, and not the Seeker. I didn't realize that could even happen! Been a while since then, and I gotta tell ya, nothing's ever made more sense to me in my life than things do now. I can tell ya what you're gonna say before you even do, just by the look on your face. I've predicted three accidental deaths so far today, and the thing is I don't even realize that I'm doing it. My fucking brain's turned into as big of an asshole as my sword, doing shit behind my back better than I should be able to.

Though, now, I figure, why not go and get a few more Objects? And kill any Seekers I find along the way...

Damn, life just makes so much sense sometimes.